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The third-worst poetry in the known universe is Vogon poetry. That of the Azgoths of Kria is the second worse. Grunthos the Flatulent recited his poem Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning when four listeners died of internal hemorrhaging. Plus, the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council barely survived by gnawing off his own legs. Grunthos was about to read his 12-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles only to be disappointed by its reception. In his distress, his intestines jumped straight up through his neck to get to his brain in an attempt to save creation.

Fortunately, the number one worst poetry perished in the destruction of the planet Earth, along with its creator, Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex England. By comparison, Vogon’s poetry is considered mild.