Pillsbury Doughboy Dead At 81

The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 81.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Cap’n Crunch. The California Rasins Choir sang The Loafs’s Prayer.
The grave site was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who, “never knew how much he was kneaded”.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite his being a little flaky at times, and even crusty as an old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end it was thought he’d rise once again, but he was no tart.
His second wife, Play Dough, survives Doughboy. They have two children and one in the oven. Mrs. Dough said of their 60 year relationship, “It was a piece of cake.”
The funeral was held at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. May he rest in yeast, I mean peace.