One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he’s buying another cat. And I says to him: ‘Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you’re just gonna get this cat stuck in your ass too. Why don’t you knock it off?’ And he said to me: ‘Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?’ My cousin was a weird guy.